Unrestful Vacation Days

It’s the first full day of our cruise to the Mexican Riviera vacation. My husband left early to play basketball on the 11th deck. I slept in, content to soak up Zzzz’s instead of rays. By the time Dan returned from his morning activities I had just rolled out of bed and mustered up enough energy to strip naked and adorn a shower cap. Toothbrush in hand and sleep still in my eyes, I tried to wake up. I’m not much of a picnic the first few minutes after waking up. Just 2 days ago I was lying in bed, desperate to catch those precious 5 more minutes allotted generously by my Snooze button, but found it difficult. My dog, which shares the bed with us, kept scratching her fur like she was trying to keep double time beat with Dan’s loud whistling coming from other side of the house. I gave her a nudge with my leg and just knew those remaining 3 minutes of sleep were just what I needed. All of a sudden my alarm was sounding. I hit the Snooze, grateful that he is generous with those luscious increments of 5 minutes. But then I heard the alarm again, all too soon, except it was coming from the kitchen. It took about 3 notes of Dan whistling the melody of my alarm before, completely involuntarily, I was screaming with one huff from my diaphragm “SHUT UP!” Now, normally I do not speak to my spouse this way, and I swear my brain did not even process what I was yelling until the thing was already done. Normally I would feel bad, but I was too tired for that, and decided I would apologize later, like in 5 more minutes.

So here we are on our vacation, me just barely awake and Dan having been in full swing for a couple of hours. Let me just stop to point out the obvious – this is not a good energy dynamic. When Dan is in “exuberant” mode he is likely to sing random made up melodies loudly, say things like “We gotta get goin!!!” while shaking my sleeping body, and possibly do 50 pushups with Coda on his back while chanting a mantra like “Today is going to be grrreat!” Nothing could be more obnoxious to a person who is still half asleep and in that delirious stage where only instincts, raw emotion, and no patience or logic exist.

That’s how this morning was. Dan comes in, cheeks flushed with the youth and vigor of a 20 something year old who just played a rousing game of basketball with his friends, and I am standing there, posture slumped over because I don’t have the energy to do more than hold my toothbrush, toothpaste foam dripping out of my mouth and splattering onto my naked, vulnerable self. You can imagine that my instincts were telling me to throw him overboard. If it didn’t require so much energy I probably would have.

This is the state I am in when he starts to address a stressful topic. We start to have an intense conversation, so intense that we do not hear a word of the announcement that has just blared into our stateroom from the Captain. However, we do hear a series of whistle blows from the ship, followed by a long sounding blow.

Wait a minute. Dan and I look at each other and I imagine he is thinking the same thing I am; during our “In case of an emergency” orientation on the ship yesterday, didn’t they say that emergencies on board that required evacuating the ship in life boats would sound like that whistle we just heard?

Nahhh.

We continue our debate. Our debate is rudely interrupted as the Captain’s voice blares this message into our room:

“May I have your attention please. This is your Captain speaking. There is a fire onboard. We have collided with another vessel. Water has spilled into several of the ships chambers. The ship is filling up with water.”

We look at each other with wide eyes and say hopefully, “It’s probably just a drill.”

“This is not a drill” we hear the Captain say. He continues to say something about sealing off corridors, staterooms, etc…. but I cannot process anything he is saying. I am conscious that I am starting to panic. How could I not? The ship is sinking and I am naked and armed with nothing but a shower cap and a toothbrush. I irrationally contemplate if one can paddle with a toothbrush?...

I stop myself. Just think. As I direct myself to stay calm and think the first thought that enters my mind is “I wonder if I could take a shower, put on some makeup, and still make it off the sinking ship on time???”

Clearly I am still panicking. Irrational thoughts are not a sign that I am pulling it together. Plus I am tired. Oh yeah AND NAKED.

I start to throw on some underwear. Dan opens our door and asks passersby in the hallway what is going on. I am about to ditch putting on the rest of my clothes and head straight for the lifejacket when I hear a girl giggle and say that it was just a drill for the crew. No real disaster. THEN WHY DID THE CAPTAIN SAY THIS IS NOT A DRILL?!

I guess it would have helped had Dan and I heard the first announcement wherein the Captain explained the following announcement would be a drill.