And I Thought I Was Eating Healthy Cuz I Buy Turkey Dogs...

I got accepted into my number one pick for Grad School!!! I am so excited/nervous/ready to get started!

To counteract this fantastic news, and to keep the yin and yang of the universe in check, I received some craptastic news as well. I am allergic to just about any food you can think of. Me, Mrs. never had an allergy/let me hoard my supreme immune system over your pollen-sensitive sissy of a nose, your little "wait, I need my inhaler" whine, your "I'm sad my eyes water around pets because all I ever wanted to be since I was three years old was a veterinarian" crying. Okay okay, I'm not really that heartless. But I am gonna be one bitter woman cuz get this -- I can't eat anything with milk! Well, I can, but only if I want to experience extreme discomfort and an acne breakout. That means no cheese, no chocolate, no cookies, crackers, cereals, butter-saturated veggies, yogurt, and that my favorite drink in the entire world, milk, has become my personal sword in the stone, my forbidden apple. I want it!!!! I want mac and cheese and I want to eat cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, with a healthy dose of butterfingers to snack on in between.

The idea that God turns our weaknesses into strengths may be more literal than I thought, cuz it ain't like I cook much as it is. And from what I described above it's clear my eating habits are like I'm trying to place first in a race towards a heart attack. But with my lack of motivation to cook often, if I don't learn how to become the next Kobe Bryant of the Kitchen, I may just starve for lack of edible options. Definitely time to put this Achilles heel of a weakness in physical therapy.

My livelihood... the only reason my husband and I have not been eaten alive by our fast metabolisms, is because I can whip up a good package of Stouffers pre-made lasagna like a savant. Staples in our home are turkey hot dogs, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and anything with cheese -- cheese tortillas, tacos, burritos, etc. But you take those faux-cooked meals away from me and I'm gonna have to learn to cook for real. Not just cook -- create. Improvise. Finally learn what it is people do with an oven. My key lifeline in the kitchen -- simple recipes, will never be simple again. That word won't even be allowed in my Kitchenaid's presence.

Here's what I mean. Let's say I want something to eat that requires cheese. Grating a big yellow block is a thing of the past. Instead of just "add cheese" it's gonna be like "make cheese substitute by combining nutritional yeast, flour and vegetable broth powder in a small saucepan, mixing together until combined then add soymilk, water and tahini, and turn on heat to medium-low, mixing until all the powder is dissolved and the sauce is smooth then heat until just thickened and warm, about 2-3 minutes". I'm gonna have to cook an entire meal just to create an ingredient for an actual meal. This may prove more challenging than Grad School.

I'm sure this blessing in disguise will help my home be healthier. And although I do more cooking than I let on above, it IS going to be quite the challenge, hopefully one that I will grow to love. I can eat things I am allergic to here and there, and in small doses, and I may never actually become as extreme as learning how to use yeast to make a cheese substitute (or maybe I will), but one thing is for sure -- our eating lifestyle is in need of a major overhaul. One that forces me to look up "tahini" in the dictionary.